Bipolar is as Bipolar Does?

I admit, discovering not only that there even IS a Type 2 Bipolar, but that it may explain my AMAZING AUGUST and LOST SEPTEMBER, was both thrilling and mind-numbingly debilitating. Both reactions are kinda on the nose, though, Bi-Po wise!

So I took a few days (after researching online and comparing my daily journals to the listed symptoms) to kind of let this sink in. Okay, I FORCED MYSELF to sit and let it sink in. Because even HEARING from my young GP doctor that there is such a thing was kinda mind-blowingly world-spinningly change-tacular. And almost right away I wanted to TELL EVERYONE I’VE EVER MET to let them know there was a LEGIT reason why I’ve been a Crazy Lump all these years.

And so! Even though I’m not on different medication yet, I emailed everyone I’ve ever met to say I’m 90% sure. And not because I wanted any feedback, really, I was just pumped to be able to say: Guys!! I have a THING!! Not “just” depression. Let’s fix it!

And as I was updating this here website, I got 2 loving and sweet responses that both called me “brave.” Which I mulled for a bit, ate some lunch, and then THAT OTHER SHOE DROPS and I’m like: holy sh*t I’m bipolar. And as if I’d punctured a floating raft, all the air just whizzed right out of me. Deflating me onto the couch, mind, body and soul. And a headache/ migraine starts blooming, and all I want to do is hibernate in my dark bedroom until forever. (And I do! And I’m better today.)

I’m feeling low right now, but my BRAIN is restless/ bored. It’s like… remember when you’re around 8 or 9, and summer just won’t END and your friends are on vacation and you’ve played with all the toys and done ALL THE THINGS and your mom’s like: what about ___? or going ____? And your arms go all floppy and you’re fed up and just like, “no… no… Nooo-wuh!” My brain is having a temper-tantrum like that today. It’s bored with all the TV, and restless, and pouty. And my “inner mom patiently is saying:

“Well! What about doing some crochet? You like crochet! No? Ok… how about reading your Russell Brand book? Your e-reader’s frozen? Oh! Ok… what about going for a walk? No?!… Well, I have a toilet that needs cleaning? If you’re so bored you could do THAT!”.

And all of a sudden posting a blog sounded really good… Ahhh, the old “I’ve got some chores for you if you’re bored” trick even works on 41 year-olds! Who knew?

And I know I could check my email right now because I have 14 (!) new ones, but I just don’t want to hear anything positive about myself right now. Which I know sounds counter-intuitive to you NORMS out there. But I just don’t want to have a ‘good cry’ right now. I don’t have that energy to lose, I guess! And I know there are loving, supportive messages just WAITING for me right now. And I truly am so grateful! I just don’t want/ CAN’T fail everyone again. And maybe THAT is why I hit the couch so hard after that email? Well!! I guess all I can do is try. Again.

Oh, Internet! You’ve solved another problem! Is there anything you CAN’T do?

For some laughs and thoughts about depression “to make you go Hmmmm…” try Neal Brennan’s “3 Mics” on Netflix (I’ve linked it right to the Netflix.) I’ve seen it 4 or 5 times and a laugh, cry, and laugh-cry every time! Actually, even Tantrum-brain agrees that a 6th viewing at this time would be just the ticket…

(Stay tuned for more: “And I already THOUGHT I WAS in a midlife crisis!!” Let’s double down, Universe!!! There’s nowhere to go but UP!!)

Loooove,

Jennifer

 

The Best Gifts are Homemade!

Spring-Craft-Fair-Poster

Hello everyone!

My mom volun-told my sister and I for the spring sale, so we roped in Auntie Pam, and it’s a CHRISTMAS FAIR REUNION!!

Judy is selling “shelfies,” Kathleen has been working tirelessly on cards for all occasions, Pam has been stealing rocks from your garden and painting them. As for me? I am branching out from book characters, trying to appeal to a wider audience!

April was definitely a bust, so I’m hoping May 11th will see more people come out to look for unique gifts for the moms/ women in their lives.

Celebrate Spring… in theory.

Thanks so much for your support!

Jen & the Gang

Another First! Spring Sale (March 30/19)

LocaltreasuresYYC_MarchEvent

I’m so excited!! This is the first official Distracted Bee market!!

I have my very own table (I’ve set up using my mother’s coat tales twice before…) and some new designs I’ve been wrestling with.

Please drop by and say hi!! There’s tons of creative folk with tables, and perfect timing for Mother’s Day shopping!! Or bringing in some new pieces for your spring decorating.

As always, thanks so much for following me! It’s been quite a ride already, and I’ve only just begun!!

Until next time,

~ Jennifer/ The Distracted Bee

 

The First of Firsts

I’ve been waiting to hear whether I’ve made “the cut” to participate in a monthly craft sale. I’ll plug it here for free, hoping the good karma comes back to me!!

Local Treasures YYC

(It doesn’t come up easily on google, so please visit their Facebook page – with the link above – to encourage local crafters and artisans!)

Basically I’m biting the bone (is that the saying? Old people please comment…) and launching this website (which is WAY hard for 40 year-old dogs, you internet tricksters!!!).

I would love, love, LOVE if you liked and subscribed to all the social media links (on my Home Page) and even shared some stuff! I’ve hired a social media person, who doubles as my complaint department!!!

Stay tuned to see if I am selling in the March market!!

Thanks for reading, and following!

Sincerely,

Jennifer

“The Distracted Bee”